Today I talked to my friend. We haven't seen each other for a while but it's one those friendships where it doesn't really matter how often we see each other. We are always close. We talked about our babies and how fast they are growing and time that flies by - and I said 'time is just weird when you have children'. 'Weird how' she asked - though I could hear that she already knew my answer. 'It becomes something else', I said. She agreed.
Time is something else now. It seems fleeting and very hard to grasp. You fall asleep with your baby in your arms and when you wake up she's four years old and can write her own name. Every moment of childhood is special and every age has its charm. It's just that I wish these moments would last longer, that we could just stay in those special little minutes a while longer.
Yesterday Elinor fell asleep in my arms and I was so afraid that she would wake up and run to her room to play. I just wanted her to stay in my arms a little longer, so I could listen to her breathing and fall in love with her long, dark lashes and her little face over and over again. And I did. She slept for two hours and I wondered if that would be the last time, she will ever fall asleep in my arms like that.
I took a picture of her asleep in my arms. Because I wanted to keep a little peace of that moment. Because I want to revisit those hours she slept in my arms. I take photographs to remember and to be moved. A photograph holds a special quality to move my heart back to those little moments I can't hold on to. Wether it's morning kisses, Sundays at home, my children sleeping in my arms, my eldest writing her name for the first time. Of course it's very important to be present and to experience moments with your eyes and not a camera. Sometimes it's okay to take that picture so that your heart will be able to revisit the moment. My heart certainly needs to revisit those hours with Elinor yesterday